Let’s learn to Invest

It’s 30th of July. And I’m repenting why I was so lazy throughout 2013-14 and didn’t care to make good investments. And as you can imagine, it takes a fair bit of brain-muscle to find the right investment, and a stronger willpower to save money and ‘invest’ in that right investment.

Why I am writing all this here, you ask!
Ah huh!

You haven’t noticed the dots yet.

So I’m also repenting that I now need to rewrite a code that works perfectly alright, makes all the right noises, and generates the numbers that it’s supposed to.

But here’s the ‘Kick’. {No it’s not worth a 100 crores either}

If I pass it on to you today, I’m sure you will spend 5 days understanding it, and then spend the weekend cursing me over a bottle of water. And you will come back on Monday and the code will not make any sense whatsoever anyway.

Here! Look! That’s the second dot for you.

2 dots are good enough to draw a straight line, and hence, draw conclusions. But let me give you a third dot to make life a little bit easier.

Next month, there’s going to be an inspection, the type we call ‘Quality & Compliance’. They are going to be reviewing everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything.

They will look at your desk [Is there confidential stuff lying around?]
They will look below your keyboard [You are writing all your passwords on a sticky and sticking it under the keyboard aren’t you?]
They will look into your system’s history [No skeletons in that closet I hope!]
They will look at your documentation [dot the i’s and cross the t’s my lad]
And they will look at your code, its input, its output, its log, and anything else they can find.

Based on the above scenarios, I think you should clean up the code a bit. Add a few comments to describe the various sections in the code. Oh wait! Sections! Hmm! I didn’t exactly write the code in sections. There was a lot of trial and error and copy and paste. Maybe you should start there. Organize the code into sections first. What? You can’t pull them apart? Why? Oh, they are written that way you say? Fine by me, the audit is all yours then. Oh don’t be scared boy. Maybe!!!!! Yes, right, that’s a good Idea. Spend the weekend here in office, and write the whole thing from scratch. Make sure you build it in sections, demarcate them by writing comments, add defensive codes, handle exceptions, and while you are at it, teach it to make a good filter coffee as well.

There, I said it. There’s your third dot.

Do I make any sense now?

Not yet?

Go wash your face, get some coffee, and come back to class by 11.15.
We will then go over how you should think, plan and then write programs. Got it?
“Invest time upfront, rather than jumping off the cliff and hoping you grow wings”
Justmade Itup

Investments are subject to risks. Please store the pig in a safe place after investing.


Cops, You Magical Creatures!

Over the last few years of my stay in Hyderabad, I have covered various localities and numerous roads. The traffic is bad sometimes, gives the rash drivers and sometimes the oddly demarcated roads. There are some terribly senseless traffic signals(The one near Pedammagudi temple for instance), and some breaks in road dividers that take away the whole point of having dividers in the first place(A break every 10 mts).
And of course, there’s the bad policing.

Cops mostly sit in their cars, vroom around their beat areas, and signal at any stationary vehicle to move so as to not block traffic, or because it’s late in the night. The cops manning signals and crossings are mostly on the phone, or chatting up his senior on the bike. The cops at the checkposts(Like the ones near Hi-Tech city area) are mostly invisible, or reading newspapers, or drying their laundry, or on the phone.

Sometimes it really makes me wonder. Who briefs these guys? What is their duty? Why is it that suddenly sometimes, for an hour or too, maybe on a weeknight, they are very active. What is their logic when they stop vehicles and check papers and licenses. Especially 2 wheelers. If I intend to recce an area, and have some antisocial activity in mind, won’t i do it better from the safety of a car with tinted glasses? Especially in a up scale area? Where a loitering cycle-wala will look out of place? Maybe I’m wrong and the cops know more. Maybe. I just hope they do.

Another common scene is seeing 1 cop at each crossing even at the peak hours of traffic flow. Struggling with the surge of vehicles, his whistle overshadowed by honking cars(Damn! Why do people honk even when there’s no place to go?), the cop usually just stands there, letting the traffic deal with itself. Looking all smug and tired, the cop would usually pick out his phone and stat calling someone(Hopefully for some help).
But then come a day! A twist! The Chief Minister’s Convoy.

In last 3 years, I have seen changes at the top executive post of this state, and I have seen them disturb my peace very often. Well, of course, the Big Man has to travel. In his convoy of 10-12 cars. Of course I understand. And he has to block the traffic for ages before he arrives. Security reasons. I understand. Today’s world. Tough. Dangerous.
What I don’t get is a simple fact. How, and where from, do we deploy ‘1-cop-per-15-meters’ both sides of the road, for 5-6 hours which encompass the CMs travel time? Where do these cops, (mind-it) super efficient they are in handling chaotic traffic, where do they go once the CM is gone? Are they special group, who barricade CMs paths? Only called into action wherever the CM goes? Or they are just everyday cops, who show up and work well, when the CM comes? If the last case is true, Mr. CM, please follow me everywhere I go!